Don’t listen to what critics say, Venom is the best-worst movie you can see this year. It’s far better than Catwoman, which is cited as the same scale mess. We’ve watched it with our own eyes and we’ve got some news for you: It’s good. And it somehow works even though there’s no Spider-Man around to save the day. Instead, it’s one man show and his name is Tom Hardy. Zuza and I anticipated the movie with different expectations and knowledge about the overall Marvel universe, to provide you with our random thoughts about the movie.  

VENOM 101

Zuza: Ok, so, first of all, I’m not the biggest fan of comic book movies out there, meaning: I can’t name all of the superheroes, I would eventually if I’d dig deeper, but I didn’t. Well, yet at least. Venom was OK, but nothing more - it was a juvenile movie with a somewhat nice ending for your tortured heart

Paul: I’ve walked to the cinema as I would to the church to praise the ultimate villain that was created by god-like artist, Todd McFarlane. So humbled, I’ve sat there, waiting for 30 years of history summarized before me, with expectations beyond comprehension I’ve clung to my seat, sucking every word, every frame, every experience. Almost 2 and half hours passed. My eyes - watered, my mind - blown, my consciousness - transferred to another plane of existence. I was changed…

Nah, sike!
This movie was one of the best-worst movies I’ve seen for a long time. I haven’t any expectations because It looked like a hot mess. It is a mess indeed. But a really good one.
venom poster
venom poster
venom poster

TOM HARDY BEING TOM HARDY 

Zuza: Or maybe… a perfect man? Role Model? HUMAN BEING PERFECTLY CREATED BY GOD?

Paul: YES! All of the above. My first impression was that Tom Hardy wasn’t even acting. He was just an everyday chill dude, a really good investigative reporter, who was broke - a joke only Christian Bale would laugh at - by a misfortune. Or cockiness. Something that would happen to any of us. But he saved his face (for Your pleasure at least) and become the Eddie Brock, only Tom Hardy would play. Just take a look at the scenes where he’s talking to himself or acting as if possessed. That’s Hardy at his finest.

I’d risk saying that Venom is similar to Locke, but with crazy-ass symbiote behind the wheel.
And no one else to remember, as the rest of the cast was unfortunately bland.

Zuza: Tom Hardy was just being... Tom Hardy here. And honestly, it could be enough a reason for me to go to the cinema. Guilty as charged, I sometimes go to Marvel movies just to stare… Sometimes! Does it make me a shallow, shallow human being? 

Paul: Nah, I’m totally convinced by your reasoning. This guy can be persuasive. I was skeptical at first. Seeing so many trailers popping out before the premiere looked suspicious. One more and you could easily watch the whole movie. As if Sony didn’t really care or believe in Venom’s success. As it turned out, Venom was an easily digestible, plain entertainment that got me hooked quite nicely. Okay, the producers clearly haven’t decided what genre will be the main one. They juggle through a horror movie, a drama, some action, body-horror, buddy movie, comedy, even a romantic comedy and a disaster movie - this one especially in terms of montage. Nevertheless, it was fun. 

VENOM AS A ROMANTIC COMEDY?

Zuza: I must say - I was a little bit concerned about what was happening at the beginning of the movie. I wasn’t prepared for cheesy-romantic scenes, because believe me - I know when I need my time with all this drama and lost chances. It was definitely NOT this time. And since I love Tom Hardy and I’m not that fond of Michelle Williams, I was a little grumpy. Their ‘love story’ was so ridiculous I started to hope no-one ever behaves as Annie did. Because come on. Eddie did kind of nothing to make her act this aggressive. He was just being a good guy, but it was obviously not enough for Mrs gold-digger-I’ll-find-a-doctor-five-minutes-after-we-break-up. Tom definitely deserves better than THAT. 

Paul; She was allegedly so madly in love with him, especially when you consider that HE MOVED to her. Not to throw materialistic arguments, though, she had some feelings for Eddie. She accepted his proposal so it counts for something, right. BUT. One recording later, one example of doing the right thing, and pow, the drama escalated quickly. She dumped Eddie, broke their engagement, and few scenes later she already had a brand new gigolo. A doctor. Neurosurgeon. After half a year, when allegedly her career was over, she still had enough money to afford the apartment. And even gave Dan old Eddie’s keys. Annie wasn’t that innocent - at one point she even stated it, and then proved it, that she can be mean. And guess what, now i can put my finger to all of this. Annie was the true Venom all this time. She prayed on men, her last victim was Dan. And previously she connected with Eddie (vel The Guy Who Did The Right Thing) as he connected to symbiote.

Zuza: But well, if Annie wasn’t that self-absorbed, Eddie would have never met Venom. Or - Venom wouldn’t have found him. So I honestly think this whole ‘love story’ was a bit of everything. It lasted that long I could grow old and have grandkids and it made me sick and tired of women who simply cannot just chill. And so I also started to hear voices in my head screaming: come on guuurl. 

Paul: Word.

VENOM AND EDDIE - A PERFECT COUPLE

Zuza: Ok, so the case of Eddie and Venom was like these family movies when a little boy meets a really wild dog, you know what I’m sayin’? And they need to come up with their own way to communicate. It’s hard and there are tears, sad songs and parents shouting: YOU’LL NEVER GONNA KEEP THIS DOG, but everything ends well and everybody’s happy and dancing. Well, maybe it’s not exactly like that, because puppy never gets into its friend’s arse… but anyway, their friendship was a little overdrawn but in some way… adorable? I must say, I was prepared for a dark, bloody movie full of dilemmas and a dual personality issue, but I was given a nice, funny and entertaining production, and I liked it. 

Paul: Actually I don’t have anything else to add. Those are my thoughts exactly. With the premise of Venom, you could expect a crazy 90s nostalgia trip - everything was dark and gritty and edgy as fuck. And most of all, over the top. I love McFarlane’s Venom. I love the anatomic incorrectness of 90s comic book superheroes with their hands having more muscles than any average men throughout their entire life. I love big guns. I just love the 90s. And seeing my Venom, a perfectly designed Venom I wouldn’t expect it to be so close to a buddy movie than a psychological thriller. The bond between Venom and Eddie sold me completely. That’s the bromance I want to see more often.  

Zuza: I enjoyed watching Venom, I really did. I didn’t have to think too much, I just sat there, watched a funny movie, laughed at Tom Hardy’s jokes, admired his face, wanted to make friends with Venom and forgot that there’s a job waiting for me outside. It was a good afternoon.

Paul: I want a friend like Venom. 

venom poster
venom poster
venom poster

WHY VENOM IS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL

1. Tom Hardy was in it 
2. Tom Hardy was riding a motorbike in it
3. Venom had a pretty cool voice
4. Venom was made pretty cool
5. Venom was just a pretty cool dude
6. The movie didn’t last forever or at least I didn’t feel like it did
7. The lobster scene was hilarious
8. There was a cool post-credit scene with Woody Harrelson
9. And even cooler post-post-credit scene that I won’t even spoil
10. Venom and Eddie made a perfect duo
11. There was an Eminem song when credits rolled, and after that unreleased Run The Jewels track which blown my head off.
12. Even though the performance of everyone except Hardy was forgettable, Tom outshined them all once again proving he’s qualified for every role.